Every Mother's Day holds its own significance, but this year feels exceptionally special to me. The last few years has seen the loss of several beloved mother figures in my life and in my daughter's life. Amidst the grief and reflection, I embarked on my doula journey with Flower n' Fox, a name that had been lingering in my mind since mid-2022. A spiritual message from my maternal grandmother guided me to this path of mothering and woman wellness.
The Encounter
One day, while enjoying brunch with my husband and daughter in our favorite spot in Virginia, a powerful gust of wind nearly knocked me off my feet. As I looked up, my eyes landed on a mural adorning the side of a cafe. It depicted a fox and a flower sharing tea. At that moment, the presence of my grandmother enveloped me, and I knew this was a sign. Whatever path I pursued, it had to bear the name of a flower and a fox. Without knowing exactly what my business venture would entail, I understood that my grandmother was urging me to lay the foundation for my doula practice.
A Tribute to Influential Mothers
In my doula journey, I am dedicated to honoring the mothers who have profoundly impacted my life, even if I never expressed it to them. I carry fragments of their lives, contributions, values, and traditions into my practice.
The Resilient Grandmothers
Both my grandmothers made tremendous sacrifices from the early stages of their marriages and motherhood.
My paternal grandmother raised her three children in the 1960s on a meager $10 monthly income while residing in Palo Seco, Trinidad. Despite limited education, she instilled discipline and emphasized the importance of academic excellence. Her devout Catholic faith and unwavering commitment to family made her the center of our lives. In another life, she would have been a renowned chef and owner of a 5-star Michelin restaurant.
My maternal grandmother, a retired English teacher, single-handedly raised two children in Spanish Town, Jamaica. Despite her separation from her lawyer husband, she remained dedicated to her teaching profession. Her attention to detail, love for proper etiquette, and an unassuming sense of humor made her unforgettable. God and Episcopal hymns filled her life. In another life, she would have been an Academy Award-winning actress.
The Guiding Mentor
Ms. Katie Felder, whom I met in January 2019, became not only my mentor but also a mother figure in my professional life. As a pastor, she provided unwavering support during a challenging three-month military course where I experienced my first postpartum journey as my infant daughter accompanied me. Ms. Felder's entrepreneurial spirit, professionalism, and compassionate support served as my guiding light. I miss her presence dearly.
The Mother-in-Law
My mother-in-law was a quiet yet resilient woman. She possessed a hidden sense of humor and loved singing and dancing. After moving to the US from the Democratic Republic of Congo with her children, she wholeheartedly devoted herself to their well-being. Always taking care of others, she understood the importance of self-care. Her culinary skills were unmatched, as she once prepared a feast for 300 people. Her faith, elegance, and knack for finding the perfect gift made her unforgettable. My husband misses her dearly.
The Unassuming Supermom
My own mother, secretly great, carries out her work in secret. She possesses an impressive intellect and a humble nature. Her daily commute to work for the past 40 years exemplifies her dedication and strong work ethic. A lover of music, she has a talent for composing original songs. Her stoic demeanor and unbothered nature inspire awe. Everything she does is driven by her love for myself and my sisters. With her vast knowledge and unwavering faith, she continues to share valuable insights with us (we’ve dubbed this “traunching”).
Lessons from the Mothers to the Flower and the Fox
From my grandmothers, I have inherited a sense of tradition, meticulous attention to detail, and a love for presentation.
Ms. Felder taught me to strive for excellence in supporting my clients, urging me to soar to greater heights.
My mother-in-law's lesson of prioritizing self-care remains ingrained in my doula practice. To nurture others, I must first take care of myself.
Lastly, my mother reminds me to remain humble, seek knowledge, and embrace the joy of singing and dancing throughout life's journey.
As I embark on my doula journey, I carry with me the wisdom and legacies of these remarkable mothers. Their influence shapes my approach to mothering and womanhood, guiding my commitment to providing exceptional support to my clients. In their honor, I strive to create a nurturing space where the strength, resilience, and love of mothers can thrive.